This year has already been one of change. I joined a weight loss challenge, and while it was successful for a few – one of my colleagues has lost over 30lbs since we started. This is not what it has been for me. In fact, for me it’s been a bloody disaster!

I have not lost a single lbs. Yes, my weight went up and down at the beginning, but then it just stopped. I got cravings for chocolate and I ignored the fact that it sent my blood sugar levels through the roof.

My fingers are a mass of dots from past blood tests as I have tried to figure out a balance.

So, while it’s been fun, stuffing my face with ice cream and chocolate and watching the numbers climb, it has not been fun suffering the nausea, headaches and light-headedness that have gone along with it. Yet I still kept on doing it! What is wrong with me?

Tomorrow is my day to shine. In my fridge I have low fat Greek yogurt, low fat cottage cheese and two tubs of prepared salad vegetables to take to the office. South Beach is a bitch to maintain, but it’s a great kickstarter and for someone who struggles with food in so many ways it’s actually a good method for organising regular eating.

Perhaps 2 weeks with no carbs and no sugar (not even fruit) will do me good.

So, if you’re still with me here, and haven’t gone “Oh good grief, really?” then thank you…

With any luck tomorrow is the start of a new pattern (yes, again). And hopefully, this time, it will stick for long enough to make a positive difference.

In two weeks I have my annual diabetes check up, sugar levels, urine test, cholesterol check, and weird tickle fetish things (I know that they aren’t really). I want to have made a bit of a difference by then, just a little…

But as the saying goes – a little goes a long way!

So here’s to my little step on the journey and hopefully at some point soon I will be celebrating 30lbs.