New dawn

Feeling positive is a lot harder than letting things get you down. This time around I am not going to let unemployment drag me down.

This morning I woke up, then went back to bed again. I didn’t have a good reason to be up at 6.45, so I went to the bathroom (as always, get to a certain age and you will too), gave Darcy some food, and then headed back to bed. Granted, I didn’t go back to sleep, but I sat in bed listening to the radio (there is some good stuff on at that time of the morning), and making the odd note about Norse and Celtic mythology as it came to me (we will come back to that at a later date).

At 9 I finally decided it was time to get on a load of washing, vacuum the flat, and have a shower.

By 10 I was sorting through one of my inboxes and doing the first of many job searches.

At 10.30 a friend arrived, I hadn’t seen for a few months. As soon as I lost my job last week I sent her a message asking her if she wanted to come over to head down the beach for some people watching on a day when the place wouldn’t be rammed solid. She agreed, so today this is where I spent a good three hours:


And, let me tell you, every single minute was bliss. Occasionally the sun would go behind a cloud, but in the absence of everything else (traffic noise, screaming kids, rowing neighbours) all I could hear was the gentle rush of water over pebbles, and it was heavenly.

My few hours with my friend at the beach were exactly what the doctor ordered (my doctor is actually rather literal when it comes to my mental health). But the end has to come, and just after 1, we headed back (it’s a 15-minute walk).

This afternoon I spent more time searching for a job, called the council tax office (I spent more time on hold than actually speaking to someone, but that’s okay, I sorted everything I needed to), and then applied for the only job I managed to find online within 20 miles of my house that I was qualified for.

I refuse to let any of this get me down. All the time there are places like the above to visit, and beauty like the girl below to snuggle with, what’s the point? I can’t change what’s happened, I can’t make the manager who let me go actually good at looking after their company so they don’t have to make staff redundant, I can’t MAKE someone hire me if they don’t think that I am the right person for their job. I have to live in the here and now.

Thursday I am going to my first ever meditation class. I thought about it a lot when I first started working locally again, but getting home from an evening class was always going to be problematic. Luckily this class is during the day and (YAY) now I have all the time in the world to focus on making me feel better.

Keep well.


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