On Friday I lost job #4 in 11 years to redundancy. However, unlike the other three jobs where I felt as though my world might end and I was worthless/useless and was never going to find anything so good again, I walked out of the office into the sunshine (we’re experiencing something of a heatwave in the UK right now) and felt free. I actually left the office, and all the stress and anger behind, and laughed.
Now I am at a bit of a crossroads. I have no commitments; no children, no partner, and the world is my oyster (though having only been with the company for 9 months I am entitled to nothing more than a month’s salary in lieu of notice), and I just need to decide what I want to do next (well, that and find a job).
The moment I got home on Friday (which, funnily enough, was just 2 days shy of the 2 year anniversary of the last time I was made redundant), I made all the calls I needed to make, sent emails and reintroductions to agencies, applied for four jobs and did the dreaded registering with the DWP (because they never process anything in a speedy manner so it’s better to get the process started early). This time I am ready, both emotionally and physically, for whatever life flings at me. That doesn’t mean I am happy that I lost my job, like every normal person I need to pay my bills and make sure I have a roof over my head, but the work environment was toxic in the extreme, and I have no doubt that the company won’t exist in a few more months, so best to escape when I did.
I have truly started to believe that these things are sent to try us, and maybe these redundancies have been a way to let me know that I have been on the wrong path all along. I just need to figure out what the right path is.
I have no doubt that I am going to be able to find my way, I always have before (even if it’s taken me some time), but perhaps this time I need to admit that I need some help.
Whatever happens, I am actually feeling much better this time around (the weather helps a lot). Monday it’s the job centre, and then Tuesday I am meeting up with a friend I haven’t seen in months to have a wander down the beach, get some fresh air and just talk about sh*t.
And then on Friday, I am going to see The Incredibles 2, because who doesn’t love a little bit of Pixar animation?