A sense of purpose

Today I woke up feeling as though I had to do something positive. I have no idea why; perhaps it has something to do with two relatively good job search days?  Perhaps it’s just because I have been so lazy over the last few weeks (apart from with the job hunting and a LOT of reading).  Whatever the reason, I woke up with a need to do something, so I did.

After about five minutes of procrastination, and a text to a friend who is so unreliable at responding I don’t know why I bother sometimes, I got out of bed, made said bed and then, for the first time in about two weeks, opened the curtains and let the sun in.  Unfortunately, opening the curtains opened a can of “OMG what the hell happened to my bedroom.”  It was a tip, clothes all over the floor (some dirty, some clean), there was a layer of dust over my knick-knacks so thick that some of the people on “Four in a Bed” would have straight outright refused to sleep in the room, and it smelled musty.

“Right,” said I, my purpose truly discovered, “looks like my task for today is to make this a habitable place rather than an ‘OMG a teenager has to live here it’s a dive,’ place.”  Job in mind I set about clearing everything up.  I wrote a list (I know, but old dog, new tricks, not gonna happen) of all the tasks that I wanted to get done…it looked a little like this:

1. Put away clothes
2. Put laundry in washing machine
3. Put away everything that is in a room where it doesn’t belong (this means you nail files)
4. Collect up rubbish from all over the flat
5. Clean bathroom
6. Wash up
7. Empty fridge of food that really shouldn’t be in there anymore (why does this happen?)
8. Dust/polish all surfaces (especially window sills)
9. Vacuum all floors and ceiling corners (and beneath sofa cushions)
10. Clean kitchen and bathroom floors
11. Take out the trash (after emptying vacuum cleaner for the 300th time)

It’s now just gone 12.30, I have been sitting at my clean table for about 15 minutes and the flat is now clean, tidy and airing.  I am going to gather all my stuff together in a few moments and then head into town.  With all the work done I now need to replenish my cleaning supplies (seriously went through so many cleaning things like the skirting boards – my flat is huge and there are a lot of metres of those things).

As I look around I realise that I feel a lot of pride (so not a sin in this case) in what I have managed to accomplish today; it really needed to be done, and it’s almost as though by cleaning up all the mess that has accumulated while my mood has been incredibly low I have finally started to escape out from under the very heavy rock of depression and lack of motivation that has been keeping me down since I was made redundant (feeling unwanted by an employer that sucked the life out of you will do that to a person, I guess).

Today is the continuation of positive me.  Things are starting to go well again, there is potential for personal growth, I am going to get a new fur baby (I think that the fact I have already named him and I haven’t met him yet says a lot for how I feel about it all) and I AM going to get a new job – whether it’s the one I really want, or something else altogether.

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