I finally cracked today. I was woken up twice this morning by the phone ringing, the first time it was the bank (I hate it when they call me), the second was my mum who was moaning about my nan having called her and driving her insane…Anyway, having been woken by that, when she [nan] followed me upstairs to go on about the packhorse that my bedroom is (another normal weekend topic) I actually cracked. It was either me telling her what I think (and I got to raise my voice – I don’t get angry very often, but when I do oh it’s firework city) or bashing her head into the nearest wall…she really has this ability to drive me up the wall.
Today I raised my voice. My throat is now a little sore (and it hasn’t felt that sore due to shouting since I was the soloist in the college choir – can you believe that when I split with my ex I didn’t shout at all?) but believe it or not I actually feel good about it – I got all the things off my chest which have made me very angry and bitter for a very long time, and I feel better. My head hurts a bit, and I feel like I am going to cry, but I honestly think that is to do with the fact that I have expunged a lot of anger.