A gross amount of bile

This is a post that I meant to make much earlier, BUT I fell asleep instead!

I think that I have just been insulted. Actually, I know I have been insulted and part of me wants to tell this b*tch just exactly where to get off, preferably the sentence will end with high cliff. How dare she! How dare she be so effing patronising to me.

I emailed someone at work today to ask them (for courtesy reasons) what the calendar availability was of a director (you don’t just arrange a meeting with one, you should go through their secretary), and this secretary came back to me with “If you don’t know how to set up a meeting through outlook please call me and I can talk you through it”. Who the F*CK does she think she is? I am the bloody outlook superuser. I am right now sitting at my desk seething like you would not believe and very tempted to email her and say “Who the f*ck are you and how dare you be so bloody patronising?” I am livid, seriously 100% furious, spitting bile.

Just looked her up, it turns out that she is a temp, obviously a temp who thinks that she knows better than everyone else, or knows absolutely nothing at all. Normally I would just shrug it off, but my plans for relaxing have, today, gone to hell in a handbasket. My lunch has been cancelled as my friend has been given a truck load of work to get done before 2pm, another friend has had to pull out of our meal on Friday night as she is ill, and to top it off it’s my sister’s birthday tomorrow which means I have got to spend money that I don’t have on a gift for her, when I am still unable to look at the skirt she bought me without grimacing in horror, I ask you, who would by a size 20, 4ft 11 person a shin length puffball skirt?

Obviously my sister thinks that my wardrobe needs an overhaul, but I would have been perfectly happy (actually, make that a great deal happier) had she given me the money, or tokens or whatever, and let me choose for myself. I don’t think that I will EVER be able to wear what she got me, not unless it’s to a “dress up as a pirate” fancy dress party, because I can quite honestly say on here what I can’t say to her, it’s ugly! The outfit is really ugly, a gorgeous rich chocolate brown ruined by the skirt it is attached to, this puffball thing that looks as though it was designed with Naomi Campbell in mind (although I doubt even Bai Ling would wear it and she appears often on Go Fug Yourself wearing disgusting creations fit for no man). I don’t think it would be so bad if it was ankle length, but it skims my shins and there is nothing more unflattering than a skirt on a short fat person that skims the shins. My sister may have impeccable taste when it comes to her own clothes, but she knows absolutely jack about dressing someone of my size and stature! This is further proved by the fact that 2 years ago she also bought me clothing, a pair of PURPLE cropped jeans and a white button down cotton blouse. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know I should be grateful that she got me anything at all, but couple that with the repeated Christmas gifts of perfume and body lotion that sit in a drawer gathering dust, and I have managed to get precisely nothing I want from her in over 2 years as gifts, yet my sister makes a list and gets whatever is on it from me. I make a list (this year it included Money for College, Money for College, Money for College) and she bought me clothes that I will never wear. Yes, I am aware I should be grateful, yes I am aware that it is (apparently) the thought that counts, BUT to have her repeatedly commit these crimes against my sanity makes me cross, because it is as though she doesn’t know me at all.

I could cry when I remember the amount of thought I put into all the gifts I buy (and I loathe shopping with a passion that I cannot quite express). For Christmas she asked for a box of Body Shop items, and anyone who shops there will know that this is not a cheap place to purchase anything. Well, I went in there, picked up this empty box and just started to fill it with all manner of goodies. I know I shouldn’t harp on about the cost, but I actually earn my money whereas she doesn’t work, and right now only has the children following school and at the weekends, her present cost me nearly £60 (and when you times that by 9 you have almost my salary for the entire month). I am making myself a really strict budget where gifts are concerned this year because I have nothing left for myself as it is, and if you can’t get yourself the odd treat then what the hell is the point of actually having a job at all…if you can’t enjoy yourself one measly night a month then why bother going to the office? To hear my nan it’s a problem of my own making, and I won’t dispute that, but what I will dispute is the issue that my sister needs designer jeans, shoes, socks, knickers and pyjamas for her birthday, she will get what I can afford (on my nan’s Debenhams’ store card) and like it, or not, I have gone past the point of actually caring. I swear, if I find out that my mum has given my sister more money than she gave me for my birthday I am going to never speak to any of them again. I acknowledge that my mum has her favourites, my sister who decided to procreate because unfortunately she was not born with much in the way of intelligence, and my brother who is the spit of my dad, but does that mean I have to be constantly pushed into the middle of the road and wait, stuck like a deer trapped in the harsh glare of headlights for the oncoming traffic? I think not.

Okay, this rant is actually making my eye twitch and it’s getting quite painful, and to think that all this bile came out of that one patronising email from a TEMP!

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